Analysis of Five Midnights by Ann Dávila Cardinal (ch 4)

Buy Five Midnights by Ann Dávila Cardinal

Five friends cursed. Five deadly fates. Five nights of retribución.

If Lupe Dávila and Javier Utierre can survive each other’s company, together they can solve a series of grisly murders sweeping though Puerto Rico. But the clues lead them out of the real world and into the realm of myths and legends. And if they want to catch the killer, they’ll have to step into the shadows to see what’s lurking there–murderer, or monster?

This is a craft analysis of Five Midnights by Ann Dávila Cardinal. I will be analyzing this book over the next few weeks. I will analyze the first 5-10 chapters, looking for craft issues and then review the book as a whole as a reader.

Marisol stopped, closed her eyes, and took a deep but shaky breath. The thumping had started inside her skull, like something was trying to get out. Last time it had gotten this bad she’d woken up in the psych ward after a two-day blackout. She’d woken up to find out that her brother was dead.

Five Midnights by Ann Dávila Cardinal

Few things here, Marisol seems like a danger to herself and others. Especially, if she blacked out for two days. I’m already not a fan of how her mental health is portrayed like she’s about to have an enormous unprompted episode in the middle of the street.

Deep-fried goodness from right here in Amapola: that would make her feel better. She walked to the next block, slipped on her shoes, and waved to the men sitting at the outside tables sipping their cafecitos.

Five Midnights by Ann Dávila Cardinal

Marisol’s character feels all over the place. She just got out of a behavioral hospital, was angry literally a page ago, and is now politely waving at some men sitting outside. I wish there was a more solid line of characterization on her.

Marisol didn’t wait to hear the rest of the sentence. She stormed out the front door, throwing her shoes and the rest of the cod fritter into a garbage can on the corner, the concerned yells of the restaurant owner trailing behind her on the heavy dusk air. She took off in a march, her body leaning forward with determindation, her fists tight by her sides. The food fought to come back up as her bare feet hit the pavement with teeth-rattling thuds.

Five Midnights by Ann Dávila Cardinal

Again, her character is all over the place. Her brother died, she’s mad that a stranger showed up to the church, she smiles and waves at old men (which felt like flirting to me), and after getting the bad news that the restaurant she’s eating at is closing and being sold to an American investor she storms off so hard she wants to throw up.

It just doesn’t feel believable in the span of a few paragraphs.

Later, we’ll learn that even her childhood home is getting bought out by American investors and she equates them with Lupe, hence her outbursts. This would have made more sense if the information had been given to us in a different order. I might even feel sympathetic for Marisol, but right now she feels just like Lupe in that she acts first and then decides if how she reacted was the right way to do so.

Buy Five Midnights by Ann Dávila Cardinal

Five friends cursed. Five deadly fates. Five nights of retribución.

If Lupe Dávila and Javier Utierre can survive each other’s company, together they can solve a series of grisly murders sweeping though Puerto Rico. But the clues lead them out of the real world and into the realm of myths and legends. And if they want to catch the killer, they’ll have to step into the shadows to see what’s lurking there–murderer, or monster?

Originally posted on July 1, 2021 @ 12:00 pm

close

🤞 Don’t miss these tips!

Monthly writing advice in your inbox PLUS get entered to win an All By My Shelf Membership which gets you access to exclusive content and the opportunity to ask my author guests a question!

Published by J. M. Tuckerman

J.M.Tuckerman is a neurodivergent writer with a big education. She holds an MFA in Writing for Children and Young Adults, an MA in Writing, and a BA in Writing Arts (specializing in Creative Writing, New Media Writing, and Publication; concentrating in New Media Production), which she somehow managed to earn despite her three very loud and large dogs. Jessica was lucky enough to intern at Quirk Books and Picador, USA while earning her master’s degrees. Her service dog, Ringo, is very proud of all that she has accomplished and hopes to be on a back cover of a published book with her very soon. An avid reader, writer, and lover of young adult and middle-grade literature, Jessica’s bookshelf is overflowing with hardbacks, paperbacks, and a million half-filled notebooks. She is a proud fur-mommy to two lab/st-bernard littermates, a retriever-mix service dog, and one orange little hobgoblin cat, all of whom have made very audible appearances on the Booked All Night podcast.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: